The following is a true story. The only questionable fact is if it was Valentine’s Day or something like a birthday. I am pretty sure it was Valentine’s Day and that works best for this post. It was all a bit of a joke on me.

I once got my wife a bouquet of just two roses for Valentine’s Day.

A rose by any name is still a rose

She always makes that statement about not wanting me to waste money on flowers for Valentine’s. There they were in the cooler at the grocery store. The price was good so I figured it would not hurt (I’m still not sure if she really means it or not. The roses really looked nice and I wanted to buy them before Valentine’s Day (I am not one of those losers that stops on the way home on Valentine’s).

I picked out the best looking roses in the cooler.

Each bouquet had a thin plastic wrapper around it. The leaves were a deep green. It had those little white flowers too. Not too flashy, again I am not sure if she does want something or not. It did look nice. The roses were a deep red. One was opened real big already and the other had just opened. Just perfect for the coming day.

I took the bouquet to the checkout lane.

The girl there asked if I wanted wrapped and then ran and got the wrapping paper for it. She was real careful while she wrapped them even commenting on how nice they were.

I was on my way to work.

At work I showed them to my mom she thought they looked great too. I had her check and see if I could leave them in the cooler the caterer that shared the building had in back. I thought that would help keep them fresh. The trick would be hiding them in the car on the way home. A bit before my wife arrived on the bus I got the roses and put them in the trunk of the car. I managed to keep them hidden from my wife till the next day.

My wife was thrilled.

She loved them and told me so. Along with a comment about not doing it again (any women out there that can tell me if this is really what she means). My wife truly loves roses. She even gets excited about pictures of roses. She was thrilled.

It was not until she tried to trim the stems that the truth came out.

No one had noticed. Not me. Not the girl who wrapped them. Not my mom. Not the caterer. Not even my wife when she put the roses under water in a bowl to trim the stems. Not until she could not cut them. Not until she asked me why she could not cut the stems. Then it was obvious. They were silk and plastic.

Yesterday, my wife noticed an add for Valentine’s Day Roses.

She said 3 roses means “I love you.”

Later, she said don’t get her anything for Valentine’s Day. What is a guy to do?

Yes, it is a true story.

I can describe the roses from the story very well. We still have them in a vase. They get lots of sunlight and we still occasionally water them.